Happy Ground Hog Day!
It feels like an early spring day here in the northeast...damp but kinda warmer...a bit cloudy however? The ground hog supposedly says 6 more weeks of winter!!!! UGH!!!!
WEll...since I last blogged my mother was sent home fromt he hospital (because I couldn't let her go back to rehab) with services. She was home from 1/25 to 1/30...she started gainingher strength but had a relapse a few days later and we brought her back into the hospital with her penumonia still present and a little fluid around her lung as well (not bad enough to aspirate at this point)...she is so tired of being sick..poor thing! Her sister had gotten here the day we brought her home from the hospital and she really was a great help while mom was at home. It is very clear that the next time we bring her home I will have to move in for a bit to be there all the time or at least in between work?
I cancelled a business trip this weekend to be with her...she told me today she was so glad. Eventhough she tells me to GO!!!! go to work! Go to bed!!! go to the gym!! ...many times she really wants me to stay and usually I do anyway...she has always been one that you have to read bwetween the lines to tell what she REALLY wants cause she doens't ususally tell you...she walways wants to be strong...but she told me she is really a baby and is scared. I don't want my mom to be scared and that is why I stay most of the time....it's kind of an innate feeling for me when she is....If I amnot with her I FEEL it in my belly and when I go to her...sure enough...she doens't feel well and/or is scared....I guess the only thing I have control over s to BE THERE for her to help her NOT be scared...she finds comfort when I am there...it is clear.
The day to day or even hour to hour differences are very hard on me...I never know what I will find or how I will end up feeling...it is kind of surreal....
it's still the worse thought to think I will never be able to just pick up the phone and talk to my mother about the little stupid things that happen everyday....it just doesn't make sense that life will be like that but....I know it is inevitable...if not now...some time in the near future.....growing up NEVER stops, I guess...life CHANGES by the minute. I have never understood better than now how important it is to STAY PRESENT...in the RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
I guess life lessons are just that....hopefully we pay attention to them.....
I was in a car accident last night on my way to see mom. It was rainng hard and very grey...I was proceeding thorugh a green light and got to the intersection when I saw a car turnign in front of me (corssing in front) I couldn't stop fast enough and slid into her....I hope I don't have injury from this but the thought of sitting in the ER I just COUDLN'T handle. My lower back/hip area is a bit wierd feeling but again...I just can't be in that hospital anymore than I need to right now. The car will get fixed, the deductible will get paid (somehow) and life will go on...like it seems to. I thought I was handling things pretty well but maybe not???
The good thing with not going away on business besides being able to be a comfort to my mom is that I was able to be here to make SEthy's birthday cake!!! It's his 7th birthday today and I always make his and Evan's cakes and they love it!!! This year I wasn't going to be able to do it but since I was here, I did it last night and he just loved the football cake I make him! They are a joy to me and I am so grateful to have them in my life.
I will sign out now....thanks to all of you who are praying for me and my mom!!!! It really helps and means alot to me!
GO PATS!!!!!!
It feels like an early spring day here in the northeast...damp but kinda warmer...a bit cloudy however? The ground hog supposedly says 6 more weeks of winter!!!! UGH!!!!
WEll...since I last blogged my mother was sent home fromt he hospital (because I couldn't let her go back to rehab) with services. She was home from 1/25 to 1/30...she started gainingher strength but had a relapse a few days later and we brought her back into the hospital with her penumonia still present and a little fluid around her lung as well (not bad enough to aspirate at this point)...she is so tired of being sick..poor thing! Her sister had gotten here the day we brought her home from the hospital and she really was a great help while mom was at home. It is very clear that the next time we bring her home I will have to move in for a bit to be there all the time or at least in between work?
I cancelled a business trip this weekend to be with her...she told me today she was so glad. Eventhough she tells me to GO!!!! go to work! Go to bed!!! go to the gym!! ...many times she really wants me to stay and usually I do anyway...she has always been one that you have to read bwetween the lines to tell what she REALLY wants cause she doens't ususally tell you...she walways wants to be strong...but she told me she is really a baby and is scared. I don't want my mom to be scared and that is why I stay most of the time....it's kind of an innate feeling for me when she is....If I amnot with her I FEEL it in my belly and when I go to her...sure enough...she doens't feel well and/or is scared....I guess the only thing I have control over s to BE THERE for her to help her NOT be scared...she finds comfort when I am there...it is clear.
The day to day or even hour to hour differences are very hard on me...I never know what I will find or how I will end up feeling...it is kind of surreal....
it's still the worse thought to think I will never be able to just pick up the phone and talk to my mother about the little stupid things that happen everyday....it just doesn't make sense that life will be like that but....I know it is inevitable...if not now...some time in the near future.....growing up NEVER stops, I guess...life CHANGES by the minute. I have never understood better than now how important it is to STAY PRESENT...in the RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
I guess life lessons are just that....hopefully we pay attention to them.....
I was in a car accident last night on my way to see mom. It was rainng hard and very grey...I was proceeding thorugh a green light and got to the intersection when I saw a car turnign in front of me (corssing in front) I couldn't stop fast enough and slid into her....I hope I don't have injury from this but the thought of sitting in the ER I just COUDLN'T handle. My lower back/hip area is a bit wierd feeling but again...I just can't be in that hospital anymore than I need to right now. The car will get fixed, the deductible will get paid (somehow) and life will go on...like it seems to. I thought I was handling things pretty well but maybe not???
The good thing with not going away on business besides being able to be a comfort to my mom is that I was able to be here to make SEthy's birthday cake!!! It's his 7th birthday today and I always make his and Evan's cakes and they love it!!! This year I wasn't going to be able to do it but since I was here, I did it last night and he just loved the football cake I make him! They are a joy to me and I am so grateful to have them in my life.
I will sign out now....thanks to all of you who are praying for me and my mom!!!! It really helps and means alot to me!
GO PATS!!!!!!
posted by Carla at 8:08 AM
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