It's a blizzard today! Actually...it waskind of pretty looking out the big picture windows of my mom's family room at the clean white snow falling in teh early morning light...
This has been a more stable week. Mom has seemed to stabilize somewhat...she is on a pretty good routine and things are just on cruise mode...it was actually the first time I thought I could handle a couple of clients in the gym or even work the Arnold! But I don't think the later is going to materialize as I don't have backup.
The bright spot of my week was seeing Nicki walk in the house unexpectedly on Tuesday...I actually felt almost normal for 3 days...she hung out here most of the time and we got a couple meals in...sushi at our favorite place! Her family treat to sushi and a wonderful dinner at FOOD 101! Blessings all around for me!!!
I hated to see her go...she provided me such as sense of comfort. It's a feeling I almost forgot about.....you know what else? The 3 full days Nicki was here wer bright suny and beautiful and today....it's a blizzard!!!! That is just crazy!!!
There have been highs and lows this week...enjoying the diversion of Nicki's company was a high that I couldn't get enough of and then experiencing a lot of anxiety over performing everyday "normal" tasks...losing patience and feeling depressed were all mixed in there too. I guess this is all normal but it's wearing me down.....
I know this is only temporary and I know that I have to stay present and that I am blessed to have all the wonderful& generous people around me....I know I will be a stronger person and maybe a more patient person after all this.....I understand that this is His plan and that I must give in to it and embrace it....WOW, this shit is just deep
Gotta go look at teh snow fall
This has been a more stable week. Mom has seemed to stabilize somewhat...she is on a pretty good routine and things are just on cruise mode...it was actually the first time I thought I could handle a couple of clients in the gym or even work the Arnold! But I don't think the later is going to materialize as I don't have backup.
The bright spot of my week was seeing Nicki walk in the house unexpectedly on Tuesday...I actually felt almost normal for 3 days...she hung out here most of the time and we got a couple meals in...sushi at our favorite place! Her family treat to sushi and a wonderful dinner at FOOD 101! Blessings all around for me!!!
I hated to see her go...she provided me such as sense of comfort. It's a feeling I almost forgot about.....you know what else? The 3 full days Nicki was here wer bright suny and beautiful and today....it's a blizzard!!!! That is just crazy!!!
There have been highs and lows this week...enjoying the diversion of Nicki's company was a high that I couldn't get enough of and then experiencing a lot of anxiety over performing everyday "normal" tasks...losing patience and feeling depressed were all mixed in there too. I guess this is all normal but it's wearing me down.....
I know this is only temporary and I know that I have to stay present and that I am blessed to have all the wonderful& generous people around me....I know I will be a stronger person and maybe a more patient person after all this.....I understand that this is His plan and that I must give in to it and embrace it....WOW, this shit is just deep
Gotta go look at teh snow fall
posted by Carla at 8:43 AM
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